1. |
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2. |
Confession Part Three
08:26
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(Leave them alone
They’re sulking)
They’re all here
In narcissistic paintings
Painfully
Staring and gasping in fear
Rightfully
Tasting my body apart
Hurting my cause
From all around my head
To project what was there
I hate…
I see a green elevator on a chair
There’s people I don’t recognize
Why do they scream at me?
Don’t scream in this air
You’ll scare every cell till I can’t hear anymore
So who are you? Some kind of operator?
Take me with you
Take me up to that deepest blue to where it’s almost black
So who are you all? Her dearest friends?
It will all be sorted out so just pull me out
The sheets are stuck to my skin
So stuck they could fuse with my body
Cloth will be swallowed and air bled
As I try to search for a way to pull the sheets out of my throat
So tactfully
You touch my cheek
So intentionally
I collapse forward to give in
So readily
I gave up on my mind
Haphazardly,
And here I tried to give in
But I hated you all
And there I made my thoughts
I wrapped a cord
(Around air)
(Don’t feel bad
Made up words
Made up lies)
Pretty soon after
I tried
Tried to make sense
But the whole town and scene I made
We’re just lights flashing under my eyes
And It was all I had
(All I had)
I don’t plan to feel so sorry for myself
Not in this way I planned to be safe
But nothing feels right here
Bring me back
Even if this is where I belong
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3. |
Another Interlude
01:13
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4. |
Fujoshi Heart
04:47
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In a ghost town
Upon a fever of love
A darkening blush hovering under and over my face
A unison unending burning of skin
Two running bodies of hope
Running to him with the sky in their hands
Saving this day for a special day
While waiting for a good reaction
While in sync, you see here…
They ran and dropped the earth
To see another pair
Try to extend each other’s limbs
in exchange for love
they held their hands out
And broke their own hearts
And tried to put it back in place
It’s not a joke
Not to me
With her I think I can see through their lies
He gets too close to him to understand
Will they end up picking up the pieces that we have broken
Yes?
No?
(I don’t know! Stop asking me when I don’t know!)
Running out in the sun
And then running from an obvious threat
Backing into a tree
And then backing from a pile of leaves
Was what our lives had been
What our lives had meant
Turning into a ghost
And then turning away just by a hand
Being tortured by them
In the brutal burning of day
Was what made us think of them as
Everything that we did
It was clearly a dream
And when we hated it all
We dropped the sky from our hands
And brought us back to our home
In a ghost town
But I know I was never alone
We were never alone
When we watched them all leave
This cursed ghost town
It was just how I felt
Not on the screen
Just how I feel
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5. |
Message To Her
04:08
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I’ve gone through the leaves
The sky can see me through this tree
It sees us
So the green seeps into my skin
The more I lay there
With closed eyes
The wind from the ground
Drawing me in
To you
It’s like my arms and yours
Are sharing the same space
But the suffocated ground beneath me
Will try to kill me back
If I don’t arise from fallen leaves
If it was fall I’d be covered
from my nose to my back
In fallen leaves
And so the weight from them
Will create a geyser to the stars
And splatter the sky with all my blood
Don’t you worry
I can hear you calling my name
I’m just busy looking at the blue
Seeping under my fingernails
But when I look across at highschool grounds
You’re reaching out your hand to me
Don’t you dare reach out to me
Not across the street
Backlit silhouettes are waving at us
Maybe making fun of us
Then they truly are your friends
I miss them all the same
If at all
You had kept a piece of it
Every time I reach into my mind
To pull you out you always frown at me
And every time I reach my hand to you
You look away and say “I was never there”
With those bloodstained days I tend to agree
I would run across the street
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6. |
Get-Well Card
10:45
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I’m so close
To hearing you out
But I’d rather rush you out
Because I can’t hear you
Hospital beds
Living rooms
Is this what you want?
You use to be
Something so wondrous
Right above us
Lies what we just were
Dripping down in
Pockets of the old you
Right here in the now
Your words creep out
In things you’d never say
In things you’d never do
to us
“This is what I want for you”
Is what I would say
If it was me
But it isn’t me now
I can hear your weary heart
Trying to scream for help
I’ll set a timer
For forty eight hours
So when you raise your voice
I cannot raise my own
I’ll set it straight
So you can just relax
Hospital beds
Living rooms
Are all these really what you want?
There are faces
Telling me to stop
So I won’t tell you
“I don’t hate you”
But There are bodies
Clinging on to my floor
Why can’t I scrape you off
You’ll make me a mess
It’s strange to think I’ll like it at all
So I never want to see you
Take yourself and the green elevator
And let me die at ease
All alone
I’m not yelling
But there’s someone’s patience
It’s killing me
Rise
Please
Get out
Of my chair
You are not you
There’s
blood
You
Are
Crushing
My
Hands
Running under the past
And how they see your face
Never ending sentimentality
It lives within those walls
The walls of your fading memory
Where now see that green
Elevator on a chair
That will not leave without you
Or Without us
Through what we see
Through what we hear
Your precious heart
Can be seen with closed eyes
And sometimes you don’t understand
What we can never understand
Sometimes when I sleep at night
I hear you scream for help
Cause all you want from all of us
Is to chip away at trust
So even when I move away
I never really stray from you
I cave myself back in
Just to make sure you’re all right
So imaginary families biting into the future
Imaginary furniture fusing a rug to the grass
They can never see you again
Why can’t you see that we love you?
It’s all meant so we can hear you
(We can’t hold you again)
Why can’t you see that how close they are?
It’s all going to leave you when you curse us
(Leave us all alone)
…A black wind blows through your body
But you have way too many friends…
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7. |
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He said, “Look at me
Can you see my bones?
Not yet woven”
I responded, ignoring him, “So Don’t you leave my body to the wind
When you die”
“Will you be in there, waiting for everyone?” He said back,
“With me
Will you finally go see him?” She snapped at me
“When it ends, I want to go” I say dejected,
So many racing lights will pass”
“(See him)” she yelled in the back of my mind
“They were all I had” I start crying on the inside
“(All I had)” he said
“All you were” I said, staring back at the emptiness where he should have been
“(All I had)” he echos
“Look at him when you see him
You can’t see his bones
They are woven” she said, dying away.
As soon as I woke up I saw nothing
(Apart from my ending)
I long to mean no harm to you
(Begin to unravel)
I’ve undone everything down to my bones
(What have you been doing?)
Don’t stare at them too long
(It hurts them as always)
Just peak into his room once
(See how they’ve been doing)
What have YOU been doing?
(Unseeing our friend's side)
Take everything you see inside
(Wrap all around your heart?)
Wrap everything around the air
Relax and you’ll feel it
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A Lady Named Isaac Los Angeles, California
It's me. If you listen closely, you might hear a song.
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